


We'll Always Have The Moon

by heavenlyspice



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), we were ROBBED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlyspice/pseuds/heavenlyspice
Summary: There's nothing else they can do.Sam and Bucky talk about Natasha and the things they have lost.Needless to say that if you haven't watched Avengers Endgame you probably shouldn't read this.





	We'll Always Have The Moon

Things were hard. Bucky was currently living with Sam at his place, it’s been a nearly two weeks since the incident with Thanos, Tony and all the avengers. It still hurt. Damn, it hurt like hell.

It was midnight, Bucky was sitting on the sofa, delicately cleaning his gun, while Sam observed him from the kitchen. They have been good together, supporting each other where they can.

“Why don’t you toss it out? I can get you a new and better one, just ask,” Sam mentioned to Bucky.

“No, it’s fine, I’m keeping it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.” Sam frowned at him, and Bucky put the gun down, sighing hard, “you know, this was Nat’s gun,” he gazed at Sam with a melancholic smile that accentuated the exhaustion and nostalgia of his eyes. Emptiness.

“Natasha? Wait, did you know her? Did she give it to you?” Sam asked surprised while sitting at Bucky’s side. Something on his stomach twitched. Nat…

“I stole this one from a Jet. Had her name on the locker. But, she… she was someone very dear to me, many years back. I really loved her, and I couldn’t…” his voice broke, and he stared down at his hands, wincing and biting his lips to stop the turmoil of emotions leave his body, while Sam let him have his time to recover. Bucky’s eyes welled up with tears, he closed his eyes with force and wiped off the accumulated sadness that was escaping, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “But I never got to talk to her again. They took me away, made her disappear from me.”

Sam watched the man suffer like he’s never seen before, and it hurt, because he understood. He missed her and he couldn’t say goodbye to her as well. She was a friend, a sister to him. Natasha taught him so many things, she was clever, smart, and an expert on everything she did. He was starting to choke up too on the thought.

The woman held a special place in both of their hearts, she was someone you don’t met twice in your life. She tried being good, she really did. Natasha only had them; she was a misunderstood soul.

The image of Tony and Steve crossed Sam’s mind. He was alone now, just like Bucky. They both were sharing the loss, and it was not going away anytime soon. It will never go away.

“Oh, man, I’m sorry…” Sam said repressing a whimper. Those were the only words he could pronounce at the moment. If he spoke anything else, Sam would burst into tears. The memories where so fresh, like he just saw them yesterday. Like nothing has happened. But for them? It was probably an eternity.

“Yeah,” a sad muffled noise left Bucky’s lips, “and I could never tell her that I remembered, that I missed her, that I was sorry for everything. To give her this back,” Bucky pointed at the gun at his side, “it still aches when I think about it. She left this world and I could never say nothing to her, hear her voice. Or even see her a last time.”

Sam sniffled and placed his hand over Bucky’s back, “don’t beat yourself for that. I’m sure she knew, don’t worry.” Bucky moved his eyes, observing Sam while he spoke, “when we were on the run, she always asked Steve about you, and how you were doing on Wakanda. Sometimes he told her stories about you, and I heard from far. Natasha was always a secretly person, but she must have known. She never lost hope on people, she was that kind. And it’s because of her that we’re here, Nat gave her life for us knowing that. Stay with the good memories, that’s what she would have wanted.”

“And now Steve… They were the last pieces of life I had left. And now I don’t…” An involuntary whimper left his lips accompanied by a helpless and hoarse sob.

Bucky couldn’t hold his suffering any longer, the sound of pain echoed through the house and there was nothing they could do more than cry, cry and cry. It hurt and it will still hurt. They lost family, friends. Sometimes you get to underestimate the fragile nature of humans. Forget how little they live, how easily they can go.

Sam’s eyes were filed with tears, but he quietly wiped them off, rubbing his friend’s back with his hand, letting him cry everything out. Bucky tried covering his mouth with his hand, but the tears and sobs wouldn’t stop. He doesn’t remember crying like this before. The grief, the pain and the hopelessness taking all over him.

Sam grabbed Bucky and hugged him. He thanked the gesture. The warmth of another human embracing him felt comforting.

“I know. And I miss them too, Bucky. I would have liked things to be different, but… I’m sure they are somewhere watching over you, me, over all of us. It’s okay.”

Sam let go of his friend and patted his shoulder. Bucky tried smiling, wiping the tears that spilled over his cheek with his hand, “and what now? What else is there to do?”

“Now the only thing we can do is to keep going forward. They suffered and gave everything to bring us back. We need to keep on with their legacy. They’ll always be on our memory and hearts. They are heroes and we must remember them as such.”

Bucky nodded softly. “yeah. Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I cried a river while watching Endgame, and honestly I cried a little while writing this. They did my girl Nat dirty. There were so many questions that were left without answers.  
> I'm going to miss her a lot. just like Tony and Steve.  
> I feel like my heart's been broken and I couldn't write anything else but this.


End file.
